She was dying in his arms and all he could think was: “This is the ugly girl I married, not because I loved her, but because she had such a conniving mind.” He knew she was ugly inside and out but the temptation to be able to control the lives of others was just too great to ignore. Surely she would settle for a companion of purpose and allow him the time and occasion to do what he must to satisfy his reckless desires.
“She did exactly that,” He thought. Still, he asked himself many times over the decades what exactly she received through this union? “It couldn’t be as simple as creature comforts could it?” Lives were won and lost. Billions were gained and forsaken on the breaths of men. They had a child together that they shaped in her image. Always, he still questioned her soul: “Did she even have one?” “Did he?”
He had gotten away with much. Most, not all, of his crimes were sexual. He wasn’t particular in his choices except they had to be beautiful. Age and money, often, didn’t matter. Nor, did location. If he could do something, he would. But, her? What was in it for her? During their time together they both mastered infamy but hers was much more deadly. And, it always included money. Most of the time it was in amounts no normal person could ever hope to possess and much of it was attained surreptitiously. She made hard choices that came with the horrific sacrifices of others she wasn’t entitled to. He thought about that a lot.
It wasn’t that he feared the smell of the blood he knew accompanied her bounties. It wasn’t even the mess or the judgment from the people she professed to want to help. “What could she do to him if she was capable of all of such manipulation?” That was why he stayed with her. Stupid, he wasn’t. Looking at that body he held as life fell away, he waited for a sense of relief hoping it would overwhelm him. Part of him was glad the millions she was campaigning to help would not be afflicted with her. Of all the things his talents could do for them, this was the one with the most promise even if it was a selfish act on his part. If he was rid of her, so shall they be.
In years, he knew his time amongst the people would soon be over or he would be too feeble to act. “That was the funny thing about only having one life,” he thought. “When it’s over, it’s over.” Everybody gets old no matter what you do. So, there had to be solace for him before it was too late. Possibly there would be redemption too. Memories of his childhood raced through his mind to a period where he did believe in good and even stepped foot inside a house of God with no more fear than stepping inside a grocery store. But, those days were long gone. A kind of heaven existed somewhere in the back of his mind, although he had so many doubts. Maybe her end would make up for his sins and there would be a place for him if he didn’t find a better alternative. After all, he did it for the world and that was more than anything she could ever hope to accomplish.
Most of all, he would find peace even if he had to constantly justify it. But, would the people whom she claimed she wanted to help, while moving each and every one move towards their own destruction, find it? There were so many.
“It was really quite easy,” he thought. He just stopped believing in her. Nothing she said or did or wanted permeated his mind. He started living in earnest as if she existed no more. There was no debate, no discussion, no listening, no physical comfort, no assurances, no respect, no pretense of love and no more fear. Money and power ceased as a desire for her. As much as a wisp of smoke disappears a moment after it is blown, so did she. Her ego couldn’t exist without him fostering it. Nothing mattered anymore because she adored him and she always had. As much as he built her up, that ugly little girl who was so mad at the world, he brought her downfall. And, then there was nothing left.
This is a fictional story with elements taken from current events ©2015
And, then there is this: